Forgiveness is a difficult thing for many people and forgiving yourself is an even more challenging thing at times. Too many people are carrying around guilt and pain from things they’ve done in their past that have hurt themselves or others. We can get trapped in the idea that we don’t deserve or even need to forgive ourselves, but we in fact need to forgive ourselves more than anyone and we’re the only ones that can do it.
Not forgiving yourself means you carry that burden and associated pain into every relationship, every conversation, every thought you have. It impacts your perspective and how you respond to things. The guilt ridden person is much different than the person with inner peace. They respond differently and they attract different people and things into their orbit.
Deserving forgiveness is another concern, but everyone deserves forgiveness even though not every action does. Hurt people, hurt people. This doesn’t excuse unskillful behavior nor does it deem it acceptable. Two things can be true. Someone could have made poor decisions while at the same time be a good person that deserves forgiveness. Forgiving yourself requires an admission and accountability for your unskillful behavior, while also redeeming yourself by working on your inner self and addressing the scars and insecurities you’re holding onto.
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aka The Dharma Guy on Dharma Time